Art Journaling-Thoughts about my father. Love and Forgiveness........

I have been going through ancestor pictures to make more ATCs

For next year's gifts for my family. I started gathering pictures of 

my father, who passed away in 1999. I was astounded at the pictures that I came across. 

I did not even know that I had them. They were pictures that I

had never even looked at before.  With all the abuse I went through

as a child, these pictures did something to my heart.  I wanted to 

completely forgive him. The pictures of him as a

 child began to affect the way I viewed him.

 I was realizing  that he too was once a child and he

was abused and neglected by his mother. His father abandoned him.

I started praying to God to help me truly forgive him. 

The picture of my dad playing in the sand was the picture

that effected me the most. My father was so incredibly handsome.

My father had a high IQ, was highly creative and talented.

My mother fell head over heals for him. But she had no idea that he

drank. He was a very mixed up guy and he fell short to handle difficult

 situations on many occasions.... But there was this good, funny

part of my father that I loved. It was plain to see that he

was a walking civil war inside of himself.

 I went through days of strange emotions. I battled these Love/Hate

emotions toward him, his mother and his father.

 Finally, I asked God to please  help me forget the bad

and remember the things that were good in him.

On a Monday night, I went to my art room and found a 

folded letter in the middle of my art table.. I opened it and

realized  it was an old letter from my father. I had NO IDEA

how it got there!   The letter had no date, but with my brother's help, 

 we figured that  it was probably at least 25 years old. 

Strangely, I could not ever remember reading it before.

In the letter, he was asking me to forgive him.

It instantly brought tears to my eyes. I cried for some time.

Then, I asked everyone in the house if they had put it there. 

No one knew how it got there! 

 Now I do not believe that ghosts can move things.

I am sure that it got there by some means that I can not 

explain but the "how" it got there was not as important to me

as to "why" and "when" it got there.

 My father was an artist and my art table

would have been the most appropriate place to find this from him.

I put the letter in a special envelope with a ribbon attached so

that it would not be lost.

Why couldn't I remember 

reading this letter that I had probably kept for 25 years or more?

In the letter, my father also told me how much he loved me. 

These were words I needed from him.

I do believe that God had a hand in the letter ending up there on 

my art table. I feel now that I can truly forgive him and love

him for the good things about him. 

SO MANY THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON

in this case-FORGIVENSS!